Skip to content

Diatribe: Don’t Buy Your Lunch At A Restaurant You Just Tried To Rob.

David Lee WarnIt’s no secret among my friends and family that I love Mexican food.  I’ve never visited a Mexican restaurant that I didn’t enjoy … and it seems like there are millions of them.  Of course I enjoy some more than others and I’ve encountered a few that I will never patronize again but, when giving the choice between a bad Mexican restaurant and a good “any-other” restaurant, I’ll choose Mexican every time.

Last Saturday, we had dinner with friends at our favorite restaurant where management and staff recognize us as regulars.  After we finished enjoying our meal, and the wonderful margaritas they serve there, our server told us that he was leaving the state and we would never see him again.  It was sad news.  I always looked forward to sitting in his station because I thought he poured the best margaritas.

Daniel Lee Warn, 28, of Costa Mesa, California, is a repeat customer of a different kind.  He was arrested last Wednesday when he tried to order food at an El Pollo Loco restaurant because employees recognized him from security camera footage taken of a burglary that had taken place just hours before.

The rThere are no bad margaritasestaurant was closed at the time of the break-in, but the surveillance video showed a man wearing a green t-shirt and a hat with a bright pink face climbing through the drive-through window and rummaging through the restaurant’s cash register in a failed attempt to find cash.

When Warn showed up to order lunch dressed in the same clothes as the person seen in the video, the restaurant’s manager called police who arrested Warn on multiple counts of burglary.  They believe he is also responsible for three other recent burglaries in the area.

Apparently, Warn is a transient who was sentenced to two years in prison just last month but was freed as part of a controversial post-release community supervision, state realignment program.

I’ll miss my regular server at my favorite restaurant but not as much as I initially thought I might.  While I’ve always thought he was fixing my margaritas just the way I like them (a little heavy on the tequila), he confessed during our last conversation that the drinks are “pre-mixed” and that all the servers carry the same drinks to every table.

The moral of this story … Don’t buy your lunch at a restaurant you just tried to rob.  Dumbass.

——————————————————————————-

Like this post? Follow the blog and get involved in discussions! Find “Follow via Email” on the right side of the page and click “Follow.”  Click on buttons at the end of each post to share on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and other social media sites, too!

Copyright © 2014 www.DiatribesAndOvations.com

About these ads

Ovation: A Real-Life Krusty Krab Restaurant.

KrabAnyone who’s had a kid in the last fifteen years has probably heard of SpongeBob SquarePants, his pet snail Gary, his best friend Patrick Star, neighbor Squidward Tentacles, his boss Mr. Krabs and the rest of the gang in Bikini Bottom made famous on Nickelodeon’s animated television series created by marine biologist and animator Stephen Hillenburg.

Mr. Krabs, a miserly crab obsessed with money, is the owner of the Krusty Krab restaurant where SpongeBob works and much of the show’s action takes place.

Interestingly, a real-life version of the restaurant is under construction in Ramallah, Palestine that is expected to look remarkably similar to its cartoon undersea counterpart. And even features a model of Mr. Krabs himself out front.

Rumor has it the new restaurant will not only look like the Krusty Krab in the popular and extremely profitable cartoon that debuted in 1999, but it will also serve dishes taken straight from its menu, including the Krabby Patty Burger.

No word yet on whether SpongeBob himself will make appearances or if Squidward will play his clarinet on opening night.

Would you eat at The Krusty Krab?

——————————————————————————-

Like this post? Follow the blog and get involved in discussions! Find “Follow via Email” on the right side of the page and click “Follow.”  Click on buttons at the end of each post to share on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and other social media sites, too!

Copyright © 2014 www.DiatribesAndOvations.com

Diatribe: Are Christians Who Oppose Equality Really Christians?

mahatma_gandhi_religion_5335Knowing that Republican House Speaker John Boehner was never going to bring a nondiscrimination bill to the floor, advocates have demanded for years that President Obama sign an executive order instead.  This morning, President Obama amended a standing executive order to prohibit federal contractors from discriminating on the basis of sexual orientation.  Instead of creating a new nondiscrimination rule with an unnecessary and broad religious exemption, he simply added the words “sexual orientation” and “gender identity” to the list of impermissible bases for discrimination.

“It doesn’t make much sense, but today in America, millions of our fellow citizens wake up and go to work with the awareness that they could lose their job, not because of anything they do or fail to do, but because of who they are — lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender.  And that’s wrong.  We’re here to do what we can to make it right — to bend that arc of justice just a little bit in a better direction.” – President Barack Obama

Of course, his detractors, political adversaries disguised as well-meaning Christians are already up in arms and screaming that their “religious freedoms” are being trampled by a President run amok.

“In LGBT order, Obama elevates sexual deviancy, sexual disorders and sexual confusion above the First Amendment.” – American Family Association’s Bryan Fischer, via Twitter.

“President Obama has ordered employers to put aside their principles, and practices in the name of political correctness.” – Family Research Council vice president Peter Sprigg, via press release.

Personally, I’ve had enough of these right-wing extremists.  And I’m really tired of them calling themselves Christians while they act like anything but!  They’re not the least bit worried about their freedom to worship as they please … they’re worried about their freedom to discriminate.  They are on the warpath and their sights are set on the LGBT community.  End of story.

“America’s federal contracts should not subsidize discrimination against the American people.” – President Barack Obama

In another day and age, if they were holding a copy of the Quran instead of the Bible, the actions of the likes of Fischer and Sprigg might be considered treasonous or, quite possibly, terrorist.

Are Christians who oppose equality really Christians?  I think not.

——————————————————————————-

Like this post? Follow the blog and get involved in discussions! Find “Follow via Email” on the right side of the page and click “Follow.”  Click on buttons at the end of each post to share on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and other social media sites, too!

Copyright © 2014 www.DiatribesAndOvations.com

Ovation: Good For Tim McGraw.

In my younger years I spent quite a bit of time on stage.  I spent hours and hours practicing in front of a mirror because I didn’t want my mannerisms or my facial expressions to detract from my performance.  One of the most common critiques that I got from friends, family, faculty and fellow musicians was that I did not have a “poker face” when it came to hiding my mistakes.  Apparently, when I played a wrong note my audience couldn’t always hear it but they could see the disappointment on my face.

As I grew more comfortable on stage I learned to hide my mistakes and, actually, was asked on more than one occasion “did you mean to do that?” when something sounded a bit odd.  My ability to interact with small audiences grew with each performance and my confidence continued to build.

Never once did it occur to me that someone in the audience might grab at my clothes and tear my pants like a Tim McGraw fan did at last Sunday’s concert Aaron’s Amphitheatre at Lakewood in Atlanta.

At the end of the night, while McGraw performed his hit “Truck Yeah” as an encore, he walked out on a catwalk to interact with his fans, fist-bumping and high-fiving as he sang.  A woman in the crowd slapped him on the knee and then grabbed onto his leg and wouldn’t let go as he was moving through the crowd.  He instinctively swatted at her to try to keep her from ripping his jeans but they were torn nonetheless.

Headlines across the nation announced that McGraw slapped a female fan at a concert but neglected to say anything about him doing so in self-defense.  The woman was escorted from the stage area but I’d wager that if a man had grabbed hold of a woman performer’s costume in that manner there would be many more headlines.

I say good for Tim McGraw.  She had it coming.  I would’ve slapped her, too.

——————————————————————————-

Like this post? Follow the blog and get involved in discussions! Find “Follow via Email” on the right side of the page and click “Follow.”  Click on buttons at the end of each post to share on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and other social media sites, too!

Copyright © 2014 www.DiatribesAndOvations.com

Diatribe: Burning Down Your House To Kill A Spider.

WHAT spider.pubA few weeks ago we had guests spend the weekend with us.  They stayed in a guest room that, honestly, doesn’t get used very often.  We keep some clothes in the closet but mostly the door stays closed to keep pets out and the room undisturbed.

When we returned from a nice evening out on their second night with us, we heard a scream as one of them entered their room.  There was a large spider in the waste basket in the corner.  I went to investigate and found, inside the white container, the largest spider I have ever seen inside my house in all of the many years that we’ve lived in it.

We couldn’t figure out how the lone arachnid had managed to climb into the waste basket because, due to its smooth surface, it appeared to be unable to crawl back out to escape.  To be sure that there were no surprises as I removed the unwanted beast from the premises, I covered the container with a sheet of plastic from some nearby dry cleaning and quickly carried it outdoors.

“Now all that we have to worry about is its mother,“ I said.

No one was amused.

Our home suffered no damage as a result of the spider removal.

SpiderOn Tuesday night, a man in Seattle, Washington took a different approach when removing a spider from his laundry room that resulted in at least $60,000 worth of damages.  Apparently, he tried to use a can of spray paint and a lighter to kill a spider.  The spider tried to flee into the wall but he continued to use his spray paint and lighter in an effort to kill the invader but only managed to set the wall ablaze.  The fire quickly spread to the attic and firefighters were called to the scene.

“There are safer, more effective ways to kill a spider than using fire.  Fire is not the method to use to kill a spider.” – Kyle Moore, Seattle Fire Department

The house, which is a rental home, is expected to cost about $40,000 to repair and it is estimated that it will cost an additional $20,000 to repair or replace the contents of the home that were damaged or destroyed by the fire.

While no remains were recovered, it is assumed that the spider did not survive the fire.

——————————————————————————-

Like this post? Follow the blog and get involved in discussions! Find “Follow via Email” on the right side of the page and click “Follow.”  Click on buttons at the end of each post to share on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and other social media sites, too!

Copyright © 2014 www.DiatribesAndOvations.com

Ovation: Weird Al’s “Word Crimes” Parody.

weird-al-yankovic-teaches-grammar-in-word-crimesOne of my guilty pleasures as a teen was listening to the Dr. Demento radio show.  The broadcast originated in a Los Angeles radio station and specialized in novelty songs, comedy and strange or unusual recordings from the past to the present.  Some were so unusual that the station was told they had to be “demented” to play them and the name stuck.

Later, I continued my love of parody and novelty music when I discovered Weird Al Yancovic who received his first nationwide exposure on the Dr. Demento show.

“If there hadn’t been a Dr. Demento, I’d probably have a real job now.” – Alfred Matthew “Weird Al” Yankovic

Dr+DementoIn the years since, Weird Al has sold millions of records, made thousands of television appearances, earned three Grammy Awards and eleven additional nominations without losing any of the cleverness that made a fan of me years ago.

His most recent parody video is a slap-down of bad grammar called “Word Crimes, a spoof of Robin Thicke’s “Blurred Lines” that ruled the airwaves last summer.

Being a self-appointed officer of the Grammar Police, I particularly enjoyed this video and the message that it carries.  With this parody, not only is Weird Al making his audience laugh but he might actually teach a few people a thing or two.  Let’s hope that people are listening.

Are you a Weird Al Fan?

——————————————————————————-

Like this post? Follow the blog and get involved in discussions! Find “Follow via Email” on the right side of the page and click “Follow.”  Click on buttons at the end of each post to share on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and other social media sites, too!

Copyright © 2014 www.DiatribesAndOvations.com

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 931 other followers

%d bloggers like this: