Diatribe: Are Those Stolen Hashbrowns In Your Pants Or Are You Just Happy To See Me?
I’m no stranger to college cafeteria food. Back in my college days living in a dormitory, everyone bought a “food program pass” that allowed us to much eat all we wanted whenever the cafeteria was open. The food wasn’t fantastic but there was plenty of it. Nobody ever went hungry and it was quite common to take an apple, a banana or a cup of yogurt back to their room after each meal. Of course, some would abuse the privilege.
I spent more time studying in the cafeteria than I did in the library. It wasn’t quiet or comfortable but there was an endless supply of Diet Pepsi to drink while studying. Once the cafeteria closed, we couldn’t get back in, so we had to time our bathroom breaks and phone calls carefully so as not to get locked out at the wrong time.
Recently, a student at the University of Georgia was arrested when she was caught stealing food from a campus restaurant. The 19-year-old was spotted by a food service working when she tried to steal an order of hash browns by shoving them down her pants! When she realized that she had been caught, she removed them from her pants and tried to put them back on the counter!
When questioned, she confessed to putting an order of hash browns worth $1.06 into her pants in order to avoid paying for them. She also told police that she had more than enough cash on hand to pay for them and she wasn’t sure why she tried to take them.
The soccer-playing student who, ironically, stated in an interview with the athletic department last year that her favorite movie was Law Abiding Citizen, has been banned from campus restaurants and cafés for one year and faces shoplifting charges.
I had it good back in my college days. We enjoyed a salad bar, a hot bar, a dessert bar and a punch machine that sometimes was spiked with Everclear including enough Diet Pepsi to fuel my addiction and I never had to worry about having enough cash on hand. I don’t understand why a person would be compelled to steal hash browns. They’re not very good unless they’re hot and they don’t travel well even in a casserole dish. Certainly they wouldn’t be very tasty after spending time in an athlete’s pants.
Wow, talk about the punishment outweighing the crime! What would lead them to banish her for an entire year? Maybe she’s a bit nutty in the noggin or something?
I’m guessing that, maybe, she has a history.
My sister use to shove food she didn’t want in her clothes, LOL
Hilarious! Guess you didn’t have a dog!
We had a dog, she just loved stuffing those pockets. Plus I think my mom had figured out the dog trick and she had to improvise. LOL
Well, were they hash browns or tater tots? Tater Tots have been known to make me do illegal things…
I know what you mean! Sonic Drive In has the best!