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Diatribe: Foods With Faces Are Not For Me.

04/05/2012

I recently enjoyed a nice dinner at an upscale restaurant with a somewhat famous chef.  To help us make dinner selections, our server, a polite and professional man named Collin, did a fantastic job of explaining the menu and special items that the chef had prepared for the evening.  One item that was available was a special trout that was supposed to be a wonderful treat.  “The chef serves the fish intact, but I’ll be happy to make arrangements to have the head removed if that is more to your liking,” said Collin.  I thought to myself “Finally!  Someone gets me!”

I don’t care to eat food with a face.  My father used to love to take us fishing on our family camping trips.  He’d cook what we caught and try to make us eat it.  I would think of any excuse that I could to keep from eating those bony little fish.  I knew what their faces looked like.  I feel the same way about lobsters when I see them in a tank at the supermarket or in a restaurant.  They LOOK at me and then I can’t eat them.  We keep chickens at home and enjoy fresh eggs all the time, but I could NEVER eat one of “the girls” because I know them … I’ve seen their faces.  And there is absolutely no way that anyone will be able to get me to eat calamari unless it’s prepared to look like little onion rings instead of little sea creatures.

Needless to say, there won’t be any Bun(nies) in my oven this Easter.  I’m sure that rabbit-shaped bread looks cute on a dinner table and that youngsters probably get a big kick out of it, but I’ll have nothing to do with of it.  Granted, the techniques used to create a loaf of bread that looks so realistic require a certain degree of creativity in addition to bakery skills but I prefer to slice the heal from a loaf of bread rather than sever the head from any baked animals.

I can’t explain it.  I have no problem eating a birthday cake in the shape of an animal or any number of other foods that are decorated to resemble cartoon creatures, etc., but something that appears to be real or extremely realistic is an item that I do not want to see on my dinner plate.

I didn’t order the chef’s special trout that night, despite Collin’s recommendations, but I did enjoy a wonderful cut of Wagyu Beef that was cooked to perfection and signature side items that I’d never encountered before.  I enjoyed the faceless food items immensely.

What are your thoughts on foods with faces?

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20 Comments
  1. I don’t like to eat creatures with faces either. Some folks eat sardines and other small fish whole (after all how could you clean them), also whole pig roast where the poor little guy has an apple in his mouth.

    I like to watch Andrew Zimmern’s show “Bizarre Foods,” where he travels the world eating local delicacies, many of which remain recognizable, but it would take a lot to have many of those items pass my lips.

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  2. Hmm… You’re talking to an unapologetic carnivore here, and I guess that I can be rather ruthless about it. Watching live lobsters crawling around in the tank actually makes me hungry. Early in our marriage I dismayed my wife by ordering a dish at a Thai restaurant that involved a rather large fish including the head. Laughing at the rather morbid sight of my fish, I gave him a name, and then took to moving the fish head around so my fish could stare at some of the other diners sitting nearby. My wife was NOT amused!

    But I’m not totally heartless… As the cuteness quotient of a creature goes up, thinking about the face and eyes becomes unpleasant for me. I think that baby pigs are incredibly cute, and I try very hard to not think about them becoming my pork chops.

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  3. My wife absolutely hates foods with faces too!

    Whenever we have fish (the Chinese usually serve fish whole), my wife would do her best to at least make the fish face away from her.

    And she cannot stand the sight of suckling pig. Poor little piggy, she’d say.

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  4. I completely agree! I don’t like to eat things with bones in them either – Chicken wings, bone-in pork chops, etc. The more evidence there is that my dinner used to be a living creature, the less I want to eat it. 😕

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  5. Interesting! I remember reading a long time ago, I think it was in Michael Critton’s book Travels (a fascinating book by the way). He was in Asia somewhere and he saw markets where they had the fish completely cleaned and filleted and left their hearts still beating to keep them fresh! I still get horrified thinking about it!

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  6. Anonymous permalink

    hey come on now. Didn’t you eat the EARS off the chocolate Easter bunnies..???

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  7. As you may recall I wrote a post on same subject before. I’m with you 100% ! I even go as far as supplying the voices to those poor critters. I don’t want any of my food looking like its former self. Lol

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  8. Cows have faces.

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