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Diatribe:Traffic Jam Caused By Naked Man Chewing On Another Man.


miami cannibal attackLike most folks, I spend my share of time sitting in traffic. And like most drivers I’m infuriated by the fools that insist on driving down the shoulder of the road to cut over into the front of the line at the last minute. I think those people are selfish and ignorant.

When we encounter traffic jams, we need to remember that they exist for a reason. Folks aren’t just lining up to go extra slow because it’s fun. There’s a lane closed or an accident up ahead and cooperation from all drivers is required.

The flow of traffic is most often impaired by road construction, a slow driver in the passing lane or, all too often in my area, debris on the road. But roads were closed in Miami for the strangest reason ever. A police officer shot and killed a naked man who was chewing the face of another man on a downtown causeway off-ramp.

Witnesses said that a woman saw two men fighting and flagged down a police officer, who came upon the naked man mauling the other man. The unidentified officer ordered the naked man to back away but, when the man continued the assault, the officer shot him. Witnesses said the wounded attacker continued to eat his victim, so the officer continued firing at least six times. The victim was transported to a local hospital.

The shooting and follow-up investigation tied up causeway traffic for quite some time as crowds were arriving at South Beach for an annual Urban Beach Week hip-hop festival.

The next time I find myself sitting in traffic, I’ll certainly remember that the cause could be just about anything imaginable … or unimaginable.

Copyright © 2012

From → Diatribes

  1. mary i permalink

    OMG! Please tell me this is A JOKE-POST??? This boggles my little town mind. If it is not a joke.C–P! I am speechless-…..


  2. mary i permalink

    Hey You are such a good writer.Please be Careful this weekend (always) when you drive and keep your doors locked car and house… I knew this crazy southern heat was going to drive people to unspeakable acts but. What are they putting in the water??????? Alabama cares ’bout you 🙂


  3. Say what???? How freaking weird! What happened to guy who was dinner?


  4. I was thinking, where the hell could this happen….and then I saw it was Miami and it all made sense.


  5. heard about this on the radio here in Calif. this morning. Awful !


  6. Live in Miami, heard about this. There’s Voodoo and Santeria which are practiced here, Zombies? Who knows? There are more things in heaven and earth.


  7. cdsky3 permalink

    When I first read about this last night, I thought it was a joke from The Onion. Once I sat down and actually started reading more, and realized it wasn’t a sick joke but the awful truth, I just sat in amazement. What could flip a grown man out enough, to pin another man down, EAT his face (was his victim unconscious or conscious at that point?), then be able to take one bullet, KEEP EATING, and finally cease after being riddled with 5 more bullets?

    Thoughts about the officer keep popping into the mind as well. I can’t imagine the horror of seeing a naked man, eating another LIVING human being. Can you imagine? His body had to be covered in the blood from his victim! I have read posts where people are upset that the officer shot this modern day monster, but I have to say, I feel that he made the right choice to protect the public. We don’t know if this man was drug crazed, psycho, rabid or what, all the officer knew was that this man was killing another human being right in front of him, and would not cease in his efforts to do so. He will have to live with that image in his dreams for the rest of his life. Anyone, ANYONE, thinking that the officer isn’t sickened by what he witnessed or did, I am fairly certain has not thought the whole event through.


  8. Eeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!


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