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Ovation: Dog Poop DNA Testing – Laboratories Aren’t Just For CSIs Any More.

06/12/2012

Some of my parents live in a beautiful retirement community in Southwest Florida.  On any given morning, before the sun grows high and the temperature rises, the people in the neighborhood go for walks.  Since all the neighborhood’s retirees really have to do is monitor what goes in and what comes out of their bodies, participate in perpetual exercising and juggle prescription pharmaceuticals, they go on lots of walks.  Many of the walkers have dogs.  Probably, all of the dogs crap.

You can tell the considerate dog owners by the number of plastic bags that they’re carrying.  Most have special little containers of small bags attached to their leashes so that they can pick up Fifi’s business as soon as it happens.  Others carry extra plastic bags from the grocery store to haul away the piles left by their much larger dogs.  And a few ignorant creeps don’t pick up after their dogs at all.

Soon, these lazy dog walkers might be paying a price for the deposits their dogs leave behind.  Property managers across the nation are beginning to use DNA technology (like that seen on televisions CSI and CSI: Miami) to match the responsible canine to the pile he leaves behind so their owners can face monetary fines.

Just the idea of using the technology that so many people are used to seeing on the television is often enough to get residents to clean up their act.  As part of their lease or homeowners association agreement, pet owners must provide a sample of each pet’s DNA to a database.  Officials can collect samples of waste and send them to a laboratory to be tested and an exact DNA matchup to a specific pet in the database can be found.  Not just “a poodle”, but “’Fifi’ in Apartment 4B”.  Irresponsible pet owners can then be fined accordingly.  Obtaining DNA data for the database, as well as testing each individual sample, can be costly.  Users will have to determine how the costs are absorbed or passed along to residents.

Apparently, the service works!  And it’s easy to see why.  There’s no denying your dog’s business when it can be tracked, forensically, to your doorstep and you can be held accountable.  Maybe someone will come up with a way to get unruly neighbor dogs included in the database so my neighbors will try harder to obey our local leash laws.

Copyright © 2012 www.DiatribesAndOvations.com
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From → Ovations

8 Comments
  1. I walk my dog in a natural park where there is plenty of room for dogs and the messes they make. But there are loads of people who allow their dogs to poop in the middle of the path so that someone always steps on it. Yuck!

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  2. I always bring plastic bags or paper napkins to pick up my dog’s poop… I really don’t see why some people find it so hard to do so. You’re taking your dog for a walk… it’s not like it’s unplanned!

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  3. For a minute there I thought you were going to say that the manager had to test the dog poo. Now that would require a bonus or a huge raise in pay! I loved your description of where some of your parents live LOL

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  4. justajeepguy permalink

    The problem I see ahead is vindictive neighbors rummaging through the trash for filled doggie bags to use to incriminate the neighbors they hate. And as the proud dad of two doggies, I am offended by those humans who are too lazy and irresponsible and rude to pick up after their pets.

    Also, I think people who don’t own dogs, have a very vested interest in scraping poo of their shoe and they’re probably owned by cats.

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  5. Only in America…

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  6. It is amazing what we can do with DNA these days. It is a very advancing field and has become very accessible to a wider range of fields than before. I think it is a great idea to keep track of dogs DNA for the poop reason and others too.

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  1. KUT News – Can DNA Testing Solve an Austin Neighborhood’s Dog Poo Problem? | Hady Karl Mawajdeh

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