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Diatribe: Scary Beautiful “Front-Heeled” Shoes.


Fashion has never been terribly important to me.  Of course, as a youngster I didn’t want to be the kid that stood out because of my wardrobe, so I begged my parents to buy me clothes that would help me to blend into the crowd.

Later in life, I found myself working in a high-end department store where I could use my employee discount to purchase “designer” clothes at reduced prices.  Even with my, however, the trendy clothes were still well outside my budget.  And, truth be known, I didn’t really care what I looked like as long as I was comfortable.  To this day, being comfortable is far more important to me than being attractive.

This is quite apparent when it comes to shoes.  I hate to buy shoes.  I understand that I’m in the minority when it comes to the frequency and quantity of footwear purchases, but I’d rather see a dentist than a shoe salesman.  When I find a style that doesn’t hurt, I buy a pair in black, a pair in brown and I wear them until they start to fall apart.  Then I get out my glue gun, duct tape and shoe polish and work them over so I can get another month out of them.

I cannot comprehend the absurdity of “front-heeled” shoes.

Part of an exhibit called Scary Beautiful, these shoes are the product of a collaboration between a European artist and a shoe designer.  The awkward footwear is supposed to be a commentary on our current standards of physical beauty.

“Humans are playing God by physically and metaphorically perfecting themselves.  Beauty is currently at an all-time climax, allowing this project to explore what lies beyond perfection.  Scary Beautiful challenges current beauty ideals by inflicting an unexpected new beauty standard.” – Scary Beautiful

Egads!  Just look at that poor model in the video!  I hardly think she looks beautiful.  In fact, she reminds me of Monty Python’s Ministry of Silly Walks.

Scary Beautiful makes foot-binding and Lady Gaga’s shoes look almost comfortable by comparison.  I can’t imagine this ridiculous fad catching on.  But, since there are so many folks willing to go to great lengths to garner attention, I won’t be surprised if it does.

As for me, I’ll continue to alternate … brown day/black day/brown day/black day … until they fall apart and I have to be dragged, kicking and screaming, to the shoe store.

Would you wear these shoes?!


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From → Diatribes

  1. Abolish slavery to fashion!!


  2. Shazam, ugly beyond belief! Fitting in I can relate to, as many would. I was so humiliated the 1st day at school when my sister and I arrived in our hand-sewn dresses and patent leather shoes. We didn’t own a pair of jeans or a flannel shirt. Ouch.


  3. You couldn’t pay me to wear these shoes. I can barely walk without injuring myself in a comfortable pair of “sensible” shoes. I’ve had plantar fascitis and a severely sprained ankle and I’ve learned that when my feet are cranky, I am cranky. When my feet are happy, I am happy. Those shoes look so uncomfortable they would make me downright bitchy.


  4. Talk about Cruel Shoes!! 😀


  5. I rarely even wear regular heels – so that’s a “HELL NO!” to these ones!!


  6. Those shoes are the height of slavery to a woman – they were obviously designed by a man! This reminds me of foot binding! There is absolutely nothing attractive about these shoes – in any way! I prefer to be more comfortable as well.


  7. They look like those walking things in Star Wars… Horrible!


  8. Shoes, foot binding, fashion — so much on my mind lately. No, I would not wear those shoes. Can’t fashion give us an option other than ridiculously high heels that limit mobility and cause pain? We’re thrilled when our baby girls learn to walk, run and play sports but as they mature, society says, now do everything wearing “these” — if you don’t you will be different, unattractive, not sexy and old.


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