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Diatribe: The Father Who Beat His Kids For Farting In The Car.


Austin Davis

Let’s face it … Farts Are Funny.  Who among us hasn’t found humor in the unfortunately timed passing of gas by those around us?  Within our homes and among our own family we undoubtedly address the occurrence of flatulence in our own way.  Realizing, of course, that children take their clues from the adults in their lives we should always encourage good behavior and proper manners.

Passing gas is a normal body function.  In American culture in particular, however, it is considered rude behavior in polite company.  Most of us have been taught to excuse ourselves when we feel the onset of an unpleasant-smelling occurrence or, when another among us releases toxic fumes, to quietly ignore them.

MissMannersUnacceptable Noises. Miss Manners does not plan to mention them, chiefly because they are unmentionable, but you all know who you are. What they are. At any rate, there are noises that are acknowledged by neither the noisemaker nor the noise recipient, because socially they do not exist.” – Miss Manners, circa 1983

As a child, I would never acknowledge the passing of wind outside of my immediate family.  In our inner circle, however, we would rarely resist an opportunity to point out that someone had “cut the cheese”, “heard a buck snort”, “let one rip” or (my father’s apparent favorite) “stepped on a frog”.  It was, in essence, an inside joke that our family shared that brought smiles to our faces every time.  My brother spent an entire summer mastering the art of making the offending noise using his special hand-in-the-armpit method.

family-guy-peter-griffin-t-shirt“You are never too old to enjoy fart jokes. Always remember that.” – Peter Griffin (The Family Guy)

Not all fathers think farts are funny.

Austin Davis of Deland, Florida was recently arrested and charged with three counts of aggravated child abuse after allegedly beating his three kids with a belt because one of them passed gas in his car and none would confess.  It appears that he lost his cool while driving on Thanksgiving weekend and, because none would confess, gave all three of his children a harsh whipping.  The beatings were so severe, police said, that the children had significant bruising and painful injuries.  A relative who had taken pictures of two of the children finally reported the abuse.  The third 9-year-old child refused to be photographed because he feared his father would beat him again.  Apparently, the children told police, they were often punished in such a manner.

Must’ve been quite a doozy!  I’m pretty sure my father would have rolled down the windows while we all laughed it off.  Then again, we always owned up to the “good” ones.

What would have happened in YOUR father’s car?


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From → Diatribes

  1. What would have happened in YOUR father’s car?
    Laughter, and the rolling down of windows!


  2. In my dads car? A 15-minute good-natured argument about who the culprit was; then vague references to the car-fart incident a few weeks later. Happy-childhood!


  3. He who smelt it… dealt it.


  4. In my Dad’s car we would have shouted “Smeller’s the feller!” and he would probably locked the window controls and gassed us right back! Seriously though, how sad for those kids. I hope this gets them to a safer place where they aren’t abused.


  5. My dad would have been the culprit.


  6. I happen to be one of those people that think farts are funny. This guy should be beaten for not thinking they are funny. What a dumb ass.


  7. In my family, the proper etiquette was to excuse yourself to the bathroom during gassy attacks. I remember being a small child & sitting at the coffee table watching World of Disney & accidentally passing gas. I was banished to the bathroom for the next hour so I would learn the proper way of handling the situation. I cried the whole time because I had to miss Disney.


  8. I wouldn’t know since of course females don’t fart. (smirk)


  9. My family has NEVER followed the Ms Manners rule – male, female – didn’t matter. As a very very proper Southern belle (former MIL) said once “Every once in awhile you just gotta pass a little wind.” Wonder if that’s a Southern term? “Passing wind”? My parents are from New Orleans and that’s what they said too. Anyhow, I think we’ve always believed that if you could let it all hang out at home (and laugh hysterically about it) then it is much easier to be more “polite” in public 🙂 Oh, and when cats fart? Their OWN reactions are priceless!!


  10. Ooh yes! I’m good, but a couple of my cats are dangerous. And their own reaction? Wow!


  11. Probably nothing. I always got yelled at because my brother and I couldn’t stop laughing at each other.


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