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Diatribe: Kissing Dogs For Money.

02/15/2013

Boy-Kissing-His-Dog-29550My dog is a “licker”.  It drives me nuts.  She’s somewhat particularly about who she licks and how much she licks them but I am, by far, her favorite person to “kiss”.  And she is certainly in the running for “fastest tongue in the west” because she can whip that long tongue of hers so fast that she all but suffocates me.  Once in a while, when she makes me giggle, her tongue slips past my lips and into my mouth.

Gross.

dogkiss23n-1-webI think accidentally kissing my dog, no matter how much I love her, is just plain nasty.

But lots of people kiss their dogs on purpose.  In fact, Tuesday marked the 9th annual Valentine’s Day Canine Kissing Contest and Cocktail Party at the Planet Dog Company Store in Portland, Maine.  Planet Dog, which designs and sells pet supplies and dog-related products, holds the annual contest during which dog owners let their dogs lick their faces and whichever pair’s “puppy smooch” lasts the longest is the winner.

DOGGIESMOOCHES021213-1.jpgThis year’s prize, a seventy-five-dollar gift certificate to Planet Dog, went to Beau, a 12-year-old Yorkie/dachshund mix, and his owner, Linda Walton.  The winning kiss lasted for 45.8 seconds.  Linda and Beau won last year, too, clocking in at just under a minute.  They must get a lot of practice.

Walton opted to share her winnings with the second and third-place winners, Sunny the Staffordshire terrier and his owner Casey Mountain and Django and Erik Boucher.

They say that the cleanest part of the dog is its mouth but, frankly, I don’t care.  A dog’s tongue is both its wash cloth and its toilet paper and I’d prefer that my dog keep hers to herself.  Dogs can kiss each other all day long but I prefer to pet them without exchanging saliva.

Eww.

Too bad I’m not really the one in charge.

Do YOU kiss YOUR dog?!

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7 Comments
  1. Not the dog, but I kiss the cats …. on the tops of their heads only!

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    • I think this is perfectly acceptable behavior. Of course, there will be no prize money.

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  2. I’m disappointed that there were no Lucy Van Pelt references made.

    And I thought the “dog’s mouths are clean” thing was a myth, and that they just have different antibodies there than humans?

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  3. Before I lost my beloved Bandit we kissed all the time. He would kiss me anywhere he could get access to which was usually a cheek or hand. Most of my kisses were planted on the top of his head or the top of his nose for a quick peck.

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  4. I grew up smooching with all my pets, especially the dogs. I also grew up sleeping with them. Sleeping with them ended in my teens (my dog used to kick me in the belly and that wasn’t good for sleep.)

    Kissing them went by the wayside when Cooper ate cow poop and developed ecoli as a puppy and nearly died. Letting him kiss me might be hazardous to my health.

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  5. I don’t kiss dogs, but I allow at least two dogs to kiss me. You just have to be careful about that open mouth thing. Little licks on the hand or arm from one or more cats is another thing.

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