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Diatribe: Making Waffles When There Are Bullets In The Oven.

02/23/2013

WaffleExplosionMy grandmother was a wonderful person.  Like my grandfather, she was kind at every opportunity.  She always dressed, kept her hair styled and her nails manicured.  She was also an immaculate housekeeper who took great pride in the tidiness of her own.  She was a shining example of “a place for everything and everything in its place”.  Oh, how I was I was more like her!

For most of my childhood, she didn’t have a dishwasher.  She had a beautiful old porcelain single sink and she used a “dish pan” to hold her warm soapy water.  When she was finished doing the dishes she would store the dishpan in the oven, out of sight, in accordance with her neatness regimen.

Despite her best efforts she would occasionally forget that the dish pan was stored in the oven when she started it to preheat.  She would get a gentle reminder when she smelled a little smoke and we’d all get a laugh out of the oddly shaped plastic figures that resulted.

My grandmother sent many dish pans to early retirement but no one ever got hurt.

Aalaya Walker of St. Petersburg, Florida, wasn’t so lucky last Monday when she used her friend’s oven to make frozen waffles.  Unbeknownst to Walker, her friend had stored the magazine from his .45-caliber Glock 21 in his oven and it contained at least one bullet.  The oven suddenly exploded and sprayed her with shrapnel from the shattered bullet.

After the explosion, she managed to pick some of the fragments out of her leg and chest and then took a bus to the hospital where she was treated and released.

No arrests were made as no crime was committed.

All I keep in my oven is a pizza stone and I’m certain that it won’t melt like a dish pan or explode like a bullet.

Do you store anything in your oven?

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18 Comments
  1. Anonymous permalink

    What is an “OVEN” ????

    Like

  2. I have a draft post on this very issue — but you beat me to it. It fits into my theory that gun owners are not smarter than the average bear.

    Like

    • I’m sure there are plenty of smart gun owners. It’s just that when the dumb ones do something stupid someone gets shot and/or killed.

      I can’t wait to read your post!

      Like

      • It’s not really gelling so I may just pass this one over!

        We all do dumb things from time to time. INjury rarely results though!

        Like

  3. It’s proof of what I’ve been saying for YEARS: guns don’t kill people, ovens do.

    Like

  4. “No arrests were made as no crime was committed.”

    Improperly storing guns and ammo is not a crime? It ought to be.

    Like

  5. My mother in law used to do what your grandmother did. We would ask where is that tray…dear it is in the oven. The bullets storage is definitely on the “less than smart” side. Heat plus explosive material? Thanks for sharing. BTG

    Like

  6. A friend of mine has been gathering and writing about ALL the recent #gunfail incidents in the news. Most of them seem to be the result of “cleaning” a gun that “no one knew was loaded”…huh?

    Anyway – to your question – I no longer store anything other than a pizza stone in the oven either. That was AFTER a small mishap with a kitchen timer that – to this day I do not know how/when – ended up in the oven. Yup, turned it on the pre-heat and ended up with melted plastic all over the place. Oh, it smelled awful and was so impossible to clean!!

    Like

  7. I’m a virgo and like your grandma, I hate clutter and a messy house. If you want things put away, make sure you have a place to put them.

    I’ve only put pots and pans – all of which are oven proof- in the oven. On occasion, I will put the dirty pot which needs to soak with soapy water in there until I wash it in the morning or when I’d get home from work. When I lived in an apartment without a dishwasher, I didn’t and never wanted a roach problem so I would ofter put dirty dished in the fridge if I didn’t have time to wash them.

    Like

  8. Sunny permalink

    Some people store their diamonds in the oven when they go out.
    Either that or the freezer. Thieves go right for it.

    Like

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  1. Guns don’t kill people. Ovens kill people. | Brobrubel's Blog

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