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Diatribe: A “Gun-Shaped” Pop-Tart Can Get A Boy Suspended.


PopTartGunI love Pop-Tarts … particularly the frosted brown sugar variety and all the ones that involve chocolate chip cookie dough.  I’ll open a package with the intention of eating just one and, every time, I’ll eat both of them.  Kellogg is counting on me to do just that.  And, yes, sometimes I chew around the edges to get rid of the part that doesn’t have any filling and save the “good part” for last.  I realize that Pop-Tarts are far from nutritious but they’re so darned tasty and, even more so, convenient that I often can’t resist.

Seven-year old Joshua Welch of Baltimore likes them, too.  Recently, while he was enjoying a strawberry Pop-Tart, his creativity got the better of him and he decided to reshape his breakfast by nibbling on its edges.

“All I was trying to do was turn it into a mountain but it didn’t look like a mountain, really, and it turned out to be a gun … kinda.” – Joshua Welch

Due to a zero tolerance policy related to guns, Joshua was suspended from Park Elementary School.

His teacher, apparently, thought the results of his pastry biting definitely looked like a gun and, what’s more, she claimed that she saw the boy who lives with ADHD hold on to the Pop-Tart and utter the words “bang bang.”

His Pop-Tart was confiscated and he was immediately suspended for two days.

“I would almost call it insanity.  I mean with all the potential issues that could be dealt with at school, real threats, bullies, whatever the real issue is, it’s a pastry… Ya know?” – Josh’s father, B.J.

The school stands by its decision, and even sent a letter to other parents explaining that a student was suspended for using food “to make inappropriate gestures.”

Surely, there’s more to this story but I’m appalled at the amount of time and energy that has been wasted on the incident.  A new, rational, definition of “zero tolerance” must be created.  The idea of comparing a gun-shaped pasty to an actual weapon is absurd.

What do you think?  Should a gun-shaped Pop-Tart get a second grader suspended from school?  Little Joshua didn’t even get to finish his breakfast.

UPDATE 03/15/13: The Reasonable School Discipline Act of 2013.

UPDATE 05/31/13: NRA Gives Joshua Welch Free Lifetime Membership.


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Copyright © 2013

From → Diatribes

  1. Yes, let’s forget that little boys will turn everything from food to sticks into weapons. Because that’s what they do. I wonder if they suspend children for finger-spelling. “L” looks like a gun, too.

    I’m with you. Thumbs down here.


  2. We’re getting a little caried away. Next, kids who play Cops’n’Robers will be jailed for life.


  3. Such a stupid thing for teachers and administrators and kids and parents to waste their time on.

    I wrote about this too, D&O — this time I beat you to the punch!


  4. The overreaction problem solving method is ludicrous. It’s like firebombing a house because you see a mouse.


    • What really frightens me are the folks on the other side of the coin … the parents who are actually teaching their children how to shoot/hunt/kill for sport.


      • i’ve got less problem with parents who choose to teach their children appropriate use of guns than i do with a school administration that’s scared of pop tarts. (and i ‘m anti-gun)


  5. Kids get bullied to the point of killing themselves, and rarely is anything done to the perpetrators. But a Pop Tart? That’s a real threat!


Trackbacks & Pingbacks

  1. Because Teachers Are Afraid Of Guns … And Anything That Smacks Of Independence | YouViewed/Editorial
  2. Well, Pop-Tart does have “POP” in its name | Brobrubel's Blog
  3. Pop Tart Gun – Gun Violence is Real | Peanut Jelly Sandwich
  4. How To Take The Joy Out of Education | The Official How To Blog

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