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Diatribe: No Matter How You Do It, Mourning Sucks.


funeralflowersI learned this afternoon that my closest friend from my younger years suffered a fatal heart attack as he slept one night last month.  We had lost touch for many years, moving on in our careers and our lives, but had reconnected via Facebook and chatted periodically.  I hadn’t heard from him in a few weeks, which was not unusual, when a Facebook post from his page appeared on my “wall”.  A relative had posted his obituary so that the news of his death could be shared by his friends.

As sad as I was to learn of his passing, I found it really interesting to read the responses and comments from his relatives and friends to see how they reacted to the news of his death.  Their responses ranged from rage at his being “taken too soon” to beautiful tributes of love and appreciation for the time that they got to spend with him.  His family, Chicago natives and devout Catholics, mourned at a “private interment”.

Others mourn differently.

For example, at the memorial service for Shain Gandee, one of the starts of MTV’s Buckwild, who was found dead in his sport utility vehicle in a ditch last Monday, attendees have been encouraged to wear camo.  The funeral service for Gandee, 21, is reportedly being paid for by MTV and the dress code is intended to honor his love of hunting, four-wheeling and the outdoors.

Deaths bring families and friends closer together.  I think it’s important that those who are left behind grieve in their own way.  Remembering the departed with others who share similar memories and feel the same grief can often ease the pain.

“Whatever works best,” I say.

But no matter how you do it, mourning sucks.


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From → Diatribes

  1. It does indeed. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and remembrances of your friend. Take care, BTG


  2. Sorry. Losing anyone sucks.


  3. I’m so sorry. As we say, May He Be of Blessed Memory. My love to you, and to his family.


  4. I’m sorry you lost your friend & you’re right it sucks. I’m glad his family was astute enough to post an obituary. Sometimes we make friends over the interwebs & have no idea what has happened to them if they stop posting. See:


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