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Diatribe: “Sneaking Things In” – When A Cat Becomes A Mule.


CatMugShotLast night, thanks to a friend with a Netflix account, I got to see The Perks of Being a Wallflower.  The plot revolved around an introverted high school freshman and how he is taken under the wings of two seniors who welcome him into their world.  I enjoyed it very much, particularly scenes that involved the characters attending a screening of The Rocky Horror Picture Show which brought back many great memories.

In college, my friends and I would save up our lunch/beer money so that we could afford tickets to a midnight showing where the crowd would participate in what had by then become traditional antics associated with watching the movie.  Despite the theater management’s efforts, the crowd always made a mess of the place and many items were prohibited … specifically, alcoholic beverages.  Well, that didn’t stop my friends Janet and Candi.  Janet had an oversized stadium coat with enough pockets to carry a six-pack and Candi was famous for carrying the world’s largest purse.  The rest of us filled our squirt guns (required to simulate the rainstorm that Brad and Janet encounter after Ralph Hapschatt and Betty Munroe’s wedding) with vodka.  We thought we were so very clever.

When it comes to “sneaking things in”, I think we’ve found a new champion.  Guards patrolling a prison in Russia saw a cat, last Friday, on a fence that appeared to be carrying something.  After closer investigation, it was discovered that the cat had two cell phones, extra batteries and chargers taped to its belly.

Apparently, inmates in Russia’s prisons have been known to bribe guards to get cell phones but using a cat as a mule is a new idea.

“They [guards] have foiled various attempts to smuggle banned objects into Prison Colony Number One before, but in the case of the cat, the prison colony is at a loss: nothing like this has happened in the prison’s history.” – Prison Spokesperson

Another cat was caught last January crossing a Brazilian prison yard with a cell phone, accessories and a saw strapped to it.

Presumably, upon their release, convicts place prison cats in their bags and carry them through the prison gates.  Once outside, they hand the bags over to drug dealers, etc. who stuff drugs into the cats’ collars or, as in these instances, simply duct tape contraband items to the cats who quickly return to their homes inside the prison walls.

It’s not clear how this cat was to unload his stash.  Its fate remains unknown.

While the concept of cat-as-mule is absurd, I can see where it might work.  Since two cats have been caught smuggling in recent months, it makes one wonder how many cat/mules have completed their assignments unobstructed by the authorities.

Have you ever used an unusual maneuver to “sneak things in”?


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From → Diatribes

  1. My strategy has always been “keep it in plain site.” I always bring food into the movies and have never been caught – even Chinese food! I just use a shopping bag from a local store. I have passed this ‘skill’ on to my nephews starting with their first animated feature. I took all my nephews (3) to their first movie – it was our thing.


  2. You mean you don’t like taking a line of credit to buy a supersized popcorn and drink?


  3. My question is, how much do the cats get paid to risk their lives as phone mules?


  4. thedogs'mother permalink

    Abby is not surprised at the cat felonious activity. Abby says cats are tricksy like that.


  5. Just when you think you’ve heard everything!


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