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Diatribe: The Zipperer Brothers’ Macaroni Knife Fight.


macaroniknifefightI love macaroni and cheese. Not the quick and “easy” microwave kind the kids eat today or the old-fashioned baked dish that takes hours to prepare but the old standby noodles-in-a-box-with-an-envelope-of-cheese-powder. When I make it, I use lots of extra butter to make it super creamy and tasty. It’s good, it’s easy and it’s always on hand in the back of a cabinet. I love macaroni and cheese.

I also love my brother. And despite our food-related differences over the years I’ve never stabbed him.

Randy Zipperer of Deltona, Florida, can’t say the same.

Randy, 49, really REALLY loves macaroni and cheese and was quite upset when his came up missing. An argument with his younger brother Edward, 47, ensued and the pair began a search for the missing noodles. During the search Edward knocked over a beer that his brother had been drinking. The spill made Randy even more angry and he began waving around a knife that wound up inserted in his brother’s stomach.

When deputies arrived, Edward had a puncture wound in his abdomen and there was a trail of blood between the kitchen and a bedroom.

“I poked him a little with the knife, but I didn’t mean to.” – Randy Zipperer

Yep … he stabbed his brother because he spilled his beer while in the midst of an emergency macaroni and cheese search. The older brother has been charged with aggravated battery and obstructing an officer without violence.

I’m guessing it wasn’t Randy’s first beer that was spilled that night and there’s probably more to the story than witnesses have shared but, clearly, the missing macaroni and cheese wasn’t the worst part of the brothers’ evening. Stabbing … check. Arrest … check.

Let’s all learn a lesson from the tale of the Zipperer Brothers’ Macaroni Knife Fight and be sure to keep plenty of macaroni and cheese on hand. I’ll be stocking up right away.

Do you ever crave macaroni and cheese? What’s your favorite recipe?


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From → Diatribes

  1. I love it too but only the classic kind – Kraft CHEESE and Macaroni Deluxe – the kind where the cheese comes in the packets all gloppy, no mixing or measuring. I could never get the powder to not feel gritty and 9/10x I burned it.

    I was shocked and rather enjoyed my aunt’s homemade style of melting slices of american cheese over cooked noodles.


  2. I am in the minority in that I LOATHE Mac’n’Cheese.
    Still, I wouldn’t stab someone over it.


  3. Yes, I do sometimes crave mac & cheese. With the boxed kind I like cut up weiners mixed in & ketchup all over everything. For the old fashioned baked kind I love it straight out of the oven!


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