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Diatribe: Don’t Burn Your House Down To Get Demons Out Of Your Closet.

08/02/2013

ClosetI enjoy “scary” movies … not the gory special effects laden spectacles, but the creepy movies that involve suspense, tension, release and surprise.  The sort of movie that makes you think, when there’s more dialogue than there is screaming and the soundtrack plays a character all its own.  Until last weekend, my all-time favorite horror movie was The Legend of Hell House.

Last weekend I went to see The Conjuring.

My new favorite is based on the true story of Carolyn and Roger Parren who moved their family into an enormously fabulous yet run-down home in Rhode Island where terrifying and unexplainable things begin to happen.  Desperate, Carolyn reaches out to noted paranormal investigators, Ed and Lorraine Warren who examine the house and discover that the whole area is saturated with a demonic haunting that has attached itself to the family.  It is quickly determined that they can’t run away so the family, with the help of the Warrens’ expertise, has to defeat the unholy terror before it destroys them all.  Holy water, clairvoyance and exorcism intervenes.

conjuringYes … based on a true story.  The addition of “based on a true story” to the opening credits of any movie lends the story credibility.  In the case of The Conjuring, it added an extraordinary emotional element.  Truth, as they say, really is stranger than fiction.

Perhaps Adam Glenn Hamilton was on a similar mission when he used paint thinner to set his bedroom closet on fire.  The 30-year-old Arizona man is accused of wandering around near his Avondale home on July 20, reciting Bible verses before setting fire to his closet without warning his roommates who were home at the time.

Apparently, Hamilton explained to police that he meant to tell the others in the house about the pending blaze but it slipped his mind.  He ran away barefoot and was eventually found, with burned feet and a lighter, and taken to a hospital where he was arrested on arson and other charges.

Had Hamilton seen The Conjuring, he surely would have approached his problem from a different direction.  His “true story” is far less frightening than the story of the Parren Family’s adventure with the Warrens and it ended much worse.

What’s your favorite horror movie?

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14 Comments
  1. I am a huge horror movie fan, and like you, prefer stories that show emotional or psychological terror as opposed to just physical.

    As scary as it wasn’t, I think my favorite horror movie is Stephen King’s IT, if only because Pennywise the Clown SPEAKS to his victims long before he kills them. That alone would have made me off myself before he ever had the chance to.

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  2. I hate horror movies. They scare me and I still haven’t recovered from the fact that they didn’t catch the slasher in the first Halloween movie. I only watched it till the end so that I knew they’d catch him and he wouldn’t come for me.

    That said, Pat Robertson just this week told a caller to the 700 club to set the house on fire if there were demons …

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  3. The Engineer has a flame thrower (a propane weed burner). He has set fire to fence demons, wood piles demons and scorched a couple tree demons. Luckily our neighbor is a fireman…

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  4. If I could change one thing about myself that is completely insignificant and unimportant, I’d make myself be able to watch scary movies. I’m so sensitive to them that I’m scared for days, weeks, and in the case of “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre,” years. I’m so interested in the content and the outcome but I just can’t watch without terrible consequences. Maybe I need to set fire to my closet.

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    • I actually had to go see The Conjuring with a friend because no one in my house would go with me. I get it thought … I certainly don’t want my loved ones having nightmares.

      Arson is never the answer! 😉

      Thanks for reading!

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  5. Love horror, not gore.
    But about that guy … ? Oy.

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  6. The Exoricist was my favorite. Looking back, it is somewhat comical, but then it was scary. I favorite movie reviewer tells the story about how he saw it in a theatre and drove his car to his front steps, made sure his keys were the right way up before gettiing out of his car, and then running inside, jumping in bed and pulling the covers over his head. BTG

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  7. I love to read horror stories but I do not enjoy horror movies at all. I don’t like the idea of witnessing someone else’s interpretation of what happened & the music is always way too overpowering.

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