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Diatribe: When A Dandelion Grows In A Girl’s Ear.


DandelionWhen we were kids our grandparents used to tell us all sorts of stories to convince us to eat, or not eat, many different foods.

  • Many things would put hair on your chest.
  • Carrots would improve our eyesight.
  • Spinach would make us strong.
  • Milk would give us strong bones and teeth.
  • Eating raw cookie dough would give us worms.
  • Swallowing watermelon seeds would lead to melons growing in our stomachs.

My grandparents, however, never mentioned the possibility of dandelions growing in our ears.

They’re not kidding when they say these weeds can grow anywhere.  Last week, a doctor in Beijing removed a blossoming dandelion that was growing in the ear canal of a sixteen-month-old girl.  Apparently a seed had lodged in her ear canal and, by the time her parents sought help, the dandelion had totally grown into her ear and filled her ear canal wall where even the slightest bit of pressure put her at risk for internal bleeding.  Fortunately, doctors were able to surgically remove the flower.

I ate quite a bit of raw cookie dough and swallowed many watermelon seeds in my youth and have never, to my knowledge, grown a melon in my stomach or had worms.  I suspect that my grandparents may have taken some scientific liberties.

Did your grandparents tell you any stories like these?


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From → Diatribes

  1. This sounds like a Star Trek episode. When Dandelions take over the world….Yikes.


  2. Nobody prepared me for a son like Youngest. He invented new rules – do not walk along the top of the swing set, do not climb higher in a tree than you are willing to fall, do not stick forks in electric sockets, do not open every single child proof device invented, do not escape the house (and defeat two childproof locks) and walk down the street naked — I could go on and on…


  3. I’m surprised you didn’t mention the most relevant ‘warning,’ “You better wash your ears or potatoes will grow in there!”


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