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Diatribe: White Castle Scented Candles.


WHITE-CASTLE-CANDLE-570As a teen, I found myself among a bunch of practical jokers.  The gang at work was always up to something.  From harmless prank to borderline felony, all the girls and boys would participate at one time or another.  And each would, ultimately, become a victim of a prank.  As I found myself rising into the role of supervisor, I found myself becoming less prankster and more victim.  One of the most memorable pranks that I fell for involved a White Castle hamburger.

Like Krystals in the south, White Castle hamburgers (also known as “sliders”) are quite popular among the late-night-after-the-bars-have-closed-I’m-so-drunk-I’ll-eat-anything-looking-for-cheap-food-no-where-else-is-still-open crowd in the Midwest.  The tiny square burgers with five holes, served on steamed buns with diced onions, a pickle slice and some mustard arrive in a distinctive box and with an aroma like no other.

A still unknown representative of the merry band of pranksters hid a slider under the seat of my car … on a hot summer day … in an asphalt parking lot … with the windows closed.

During the next couple of weeks, the interior of my car began to stink.  At first, I thought I might have hit a skunk on the highway.  When washing the car didn’t alleviate the problem, I cleaned out all my extra clothes thinking perhaps the odor had something to do with the extra pair of shoes that I carried with me.  I bought air fresheners to hang from the mirror and sprays to fill the air with pleasant fragrance.  After a few weeks of these treatments, and driving with the windows open, the odor finally dissipated.

It wasn’t until months later that I found the crusty hardened White Castle hamburger, curled up and brown, pickle intact, inside the little white box shoved between the springs beneath the seat of my car.  They got me!

I hadn’t given that prank much thought until today when I learned that White Castle is selling slider-scented candles.  Yuck.  They say it smells like what would happen if you mixed vanilla candle wax with burger grease.  I’ll pass!  But, those who really love the smell of a fresh White Castle hamburger can enjoy the aroma of sliders all day long and White Castle will donate one hundred percent of the net proceeds from the sale of these candles to Autism Speaks.

A last minute gift idea?  Perhaps … but don’t leave one under the seat of your car.

Would you buy a slider-scented candle?!


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From → Diatribes

  1. Ah, Krystal, the home of the 11 cent hamburger. We would get 9 for a dollar and change. I like the way you described it as someone willing to eat anything. You can also throw in a teenage guy as well. As comparison, a McD’s hamburger used to be 22 cents. On the flip side, while their hamburgers were nasty, their fried chicken used to beat KFC’s in a taste test. Happy holidays. I hope you eat better than White Castles tomorrow.


    • This proves that I’m older than you … I remember when sliders cost nine cents each! I hope you have a great holiday, too, and that your candles don’t smell like fast food!


  2. I live just blocks from one of the first WC’s. Growing up (1950) my dad and his friends would take the train to go to WC and get a bag of 20 “Belly Bombers” for a dollar. They tasted great going down but always landed with a thud. But every saturday they’d go back for more.

    There are lot’s of candle scents I don’t like. I’m not a burger person so I’m sure I wouldn’t like this one but those who love WC (and you either LOVE them or hate’m) would probably like them.


  3. thedogs'mother permalink

    Best car *prank* – my brother and I shared a car up at college. I gave it a name – The Rolling Phi Opium Den – no explanation needed.


  4. I’ve never seen or had a White Castle burger, but I would definitely not want a burger scented candle!


  5. There was a WC right next to my school. Two days a week, I would have latin class in a room next to the vent for their kitchen. I think I have had enough of that smell to last me a lifetime. I like that they would donate the money though! I support the company, but maybe not the product.


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