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Diatribe: Why You Shouldn’t Use A Forklift To Get A Twix From A Vending Machine.


TWIXMany years ago I worked in an office building that had a relatively nice “break room” that included several vending machines.  They were, generally, well-maintained, in good working order and kept fully stocked.  In one machine every item was the same, reasonable, price and the gentleman who filled it would simply put fresh items in the back of each row regardless of what treat was in the front.  This meant that sometimes there would be a Butterfinger in front of a row of Snickers bars or two bags of popcorn in front of a dozen packages of Twizzlers.

Because the price was so reasonable nobody ever complained.  But we did have to cooperate and work together to get the treats that we liked.  If, for example, you had a craving for a Snickers bar you might have to find a friend who wanted a Butterfinger in order to get one.  Or if you were really “jonesing” for some Twizzlers you might have to buy a couple of bags of popcorn to get some.  It was sometimes rather comical … until something got caught in the machine and you’d have to buy yet another item in order to push the last one down so you could reach it.

We worked it out.  We all got our snacks and nobody got fired.

Robert McKevitt, 27, of Spirit Lake, Iowa has a different story to tell.  According to state records released last month, Mr. McKevitt lost his job and unemployment benefits because he used a forklift to get a candy bar from a malfunctioning vending machine in a warehouse where he worked last fall.

Apparently, McKevitt put a dollar in a vending machine to buy a ninety-cent Twix bar but the candy got caught in the machine and didn’t drop as it should so he could retrieve it.  After banging on the machine and rocking it to try to dislodge his snack he used a forklift to pick up the machine and drop it about two feet onto the concrete floor at least six times … three candy bars fell as a result … and he was fired five days later.

He has since claimed that he never lifted and dropped the vending machine but that he had used the forklift to move the machine back into place.

“That machine was trouble.  They fired me, and now I hear they have all new vending machines there.” – Robert McKevitt

In a ruling last month, McKevitt’s claim for unemployment benefits was denied because the judge said he willfully disregarded his employer’s interests.  All he really needed was a friend who wanted a Twix … or a back-up Twix of his own.

What was your worst vending machine encounter?


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From → Diatribes

  1. I know this isn’t the point, but you worked somewhere with well stocked well maintained vending machines? You worked in heaven, didn’t you?


  2. This reminds me of the joke about the last word’s heard said by one of the Darwin Award winners..,”Watch this.” While I understand his frustration, I am having a hard time figuring out why this was a good idea.


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