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Diatribe: Killer Collard Greens.

04/27/2014

CollardGreensI was always one of those kids that had to be reminded to “finish my vegetables”.  My family was the sort to always include at least one vegetable in most every meal and it was never my favorite item on my plate.  Corn-on-the-cob was always a favorite and I never turned away a green bean casserole if it had dried onions and mushroom soup in the recipe.

Any sort of spinach or greens was simply not an option.  Fortunately, growing up in the Midwest, cooked greens were not terribly popular.  When, later in life, I moved to the south I was mortified to learn that people actually picked what I thought were weeds from along the side of the road and fed them to their families.

It never occurred to me, however, that greens might be used as a murder weapon.

Last Friday, seventeen-year-old Tyt’ana Lisa-Nicole Johnson of Fayetteville, North Carolina, was charged with two counts of attempted first-degree murder when she tried to kill her grandmother by pouring insecticide and termite killer into a pot of collard greens.  A friend of her grandmother also ate the Easter Sunday greens and both were treated at a local hospital and released.

The girl’s grandmother Gaylon Moody, 51, alleged that the teen was angry with her because her cell phone had been taken away.  Johnson is being held in the county jail on $500,000 bail.

I haven’t eaten greens in years.  I remember them tasting so bad that I’m not sure I’d notice if they had pesticide in them or not.

Do you eat greens?

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5 Comments
  1. Lene permalink

    No way, no how.

    Like

  2. thedogs'mother permalink

    Nope. Not even when my parents lived in the South for three years.

    Like

  3. I’m not sure why she bothered with the insecticide and stuff. Serving greens without washing could have given the women terrible food poisoning or e coli or any number of other things.

    Like

  4. I do love collard greens when they are cooked well. I would presume insecticide would fall in the “not well” category. Interesting tidbit about the song “Poke Salad Annie.” If those greens are not cooked the right way, I think three times without the root, then you could be in a bad way. In this case, the gator would get your granny. For those who have never heard the song, they will say what is this old fool talking about?

    Like

  5. thehostess permalink

    My collards have to mixed in with a lot of black eyed peas and bbq. While cooking they do smell like pesticide has been added.

    Like

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