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Diatribe: An Open Letter To Janay Rice.


An Open Letter

Dear Janay,

I’m sorry that you think the media is causing you “pain” just to get ratings, but let me tell you what I think is really happening.  You see, what your husband did to you in that elevator is not cool.  It’s not “ok”.  You love him and all, and you’ve forgiven him and chosen to move forward with your relationship and that’s your business, but the message that you’re sending to all the women who are getting beat up by their men is that “if you love them it’s ok”.

It’s not ok, Janay!  It’s never ok!

Your husband is a role model to nobody-knows-how-many kids who think want to grow up to play football and get rich … just like him.  Do you really want all those boys to grow up to be men who think it’s ok to punch their wives and knock them unconscious?  To think that women will stick around because if they really love them it’s ok to get beat up once in a while?  As the wife of an NFL player you, too, are a role model to young women.  Are you intentionally sending the message that you have to take a few punches for love?

Janay, you cannot blame the media for the fact that your husband has lost his job … you can only blame him.  The media did not punch you in the face, knock you unconscious and drag your limp body while allowing the proceeding to be captured on video.

The Baltimore Ravens and the NFL both have businesses to run.  Wife-beaters are bad for business.  Ray Rice is a documented wife beater.  Had you chosen to press charges he could, possibly, be in prison.  Perhaps they should have fired him sooner and they want their customers to know that they’ve finally done so.  This could explain why you find the media entrenched in your lives.  Releasing your statement on Instagram certainly added fuel to the fire.

It’s very difficult to feel any sympathy for you, Janay, as you whine about the “pain” this experience has caused your family, because you get to go home to a mansion and count your money while other abused women feel real pain in shelters across the nation.

As Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones said just this morning, “There’s no question in my mind the emphasis that we have on spousal abuse in the NFL and the lack of tolerance for it.  It’s intolerable and it will be adjudicated accordingly.”  Domestic violence is a very serious issue.

I’m relatively certain the Rice family will quickly adjust to Ray’s early retirement.  Surely, you’ll be able to get by on savings.  And there’s probably a room or two in one of your homes where you can avoid the media for a while.

Domestic Abuse Hotline


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From → Diatribes

  1. RAM permalink

    We’ll said. I think this an awesome post.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It is also not uncommon for DV victims to forgive their husband or boyfriend perpetrators, often blaming themselves and making excuses for them. She needs to get out of the relationship before it is too late. I go back to the story of my friend who said he and his brothers/ sisters had no idea their sister was being beaten by her husband until he killed her. She made excuses and blamed herself.


    • I thought the ladies might have paid attention when Chris Brown beat Rihanna in 2009. Janay Rice is in a position to do so much good! She could use her circumstances to raise awareness of the dangers of domestic violence but, instead, she’s crying about the “pain” the media is causing her. She gets no sympathy from me.

      Your friend’s story is so very sad!


  3. Lene permalink

    Great post.


  4. Standing up, applauding.
    Brilliantly said.


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