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Diatribe: “Happy Valentine’s Day. I Named A Roach For You”

02/11/2015

Seal It With a HissSingles Awareness Day is just around the corner and the world is awash in all things red and pink.  What used to be a day set aside for gentlemen to bring their special ladies a box of chocolates or a bouquet of flowers has turned into a national holiday of enormous proportions … a marketing extravaganza to bridge the gap between Superbowl Sunday and March Madness.  A trip to any supermarket reveals that just about anything can be sold in a heart-shaped package.

I saw a commercial during the news this morning for Heart-Shaped Pizzas!

Jet's Heart Pizza

It just goes to show that, when it comes to celebrating Valentine’s Day, there’s something for everyone … even those with a soft spot for Madagascar Hissing Cockroaches.

That’s right.  Continuing its Name-A-Roach program begun in 2011, the Bronx Zoo is once again offering us the opportunity to name one of their hissing cockroaches in honor of our special someone this Valentines Day.  For a ten dollar donation, our valentine will receive a unique certificate of honor featuring the name of a roach named specifically for him or her.  Plus, our donation will benefit the Wildlife Conservation Society.

Yay!

Not.

We don’t celebrate this holiday at my house but, if we did, I’m pretty sure I’d be in a heck of a lot of trouble if I presented my loved one a certificate announcing “Happy Valentine’s Day, Honey, I named a roach for you.”

Then again, this might be someone else’s cup of tea.

What do you think?

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5 Comments
  1. …but honey, I named a roach for you. That doesn’t sound like it would play well.

    Like

  2. Anonymous permalink

    Do you mean the insect kind of roach, or the smoking kind ???

    Like

  3. Carlos would not be amused.

    But then, neither would I.

    Like

  4. Well, maybe if I wanted to ditch the guy …

    Like

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