Diatribe: Don’t Drink And Bake.
Last month our oven stopped working. We knew that it was on the fritz and assumed that there was something wrong with the thermostat because we had to leave our frozen pizzas in longer than usual and at a slightly higher temperature. The oven is about ten years old and its heating element had simply given out. An easy enough fix, we thought, until we tried to find a new part.
Finding a replacement heating element for a ten-year-old oven is a bigger chore than one might think. We learned the hard way that, although it’s possible to find same-day-delivery when buying a whole oven, you can’t just buy the individual parts.
Unlike 28-year-old Caitlin Marie Patterson of Muncie, Indiana, we went without an oven for weeks. Earlier this week, Ms. Patterson was enjoying her fully functioning oven by baking cookies while getting tipsy. Unfortunately, she got so drunk that she fell asleep … with her four children in the apartment at the time … and smoke from her burning cookies set off a fire alarm that caused a neighbor to call 911. When firefighters arrived at about 1:30 a.m., they found her asleep in bed and her kids, unharmed, in the living room.
A witness reportedly stated that there were no visible flames but the apartment was very smoky and smelled bad and police noted that Ms. Patterson staggered and swayed as she stood. Her blood alcohol level was allegedly 0.115, far above the state’s limit for driving of 0.08, and marijuana was found with her on her bed.
Ms. Patterson was charged with four counts of neglect of a dependent and possession of marijuana. Child protective services was involved and her children are now with their grandmother.
As for our oven adventure …
After, eventually, finding the model number of our oven we were able to order the replacement element online and it was delivered to our home in less than ten days. It was installed in less than ten minutes and we enjoyed a frozen pizza for dinner that night.
Nobody got drunk. Nobody fell asleep. Nothing burned. The authorities were not involved.
Don’t drink and bake.
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